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:icondivafica: More from divafica


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Submitted on
September 30, 2012
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360 bytes
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646
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Haikus are too short,
To be at all worth clicking,
So I'll write some more.

These words are filler,
So I don't feel truly bad,
For writing briefly.

I write re Haikus
In a Haiku, how clever!
I'm showing off now.
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:iconthegirlintheback:
I think this is very well written. The way the haikus themselves are about haikus is ironic and clever. I never would of thought that someone could make a work truly tell about itself in such a way. I've read other work by you and honestly, you have a lot of promise. The only thing I would've changed in this poem is made it say rewrite instead of "re haikus". Other than that I love your work and hope that you will continue to write. If you don't you'll be depriving the World of greatness! Best of luck to you!
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:iconminninnewah:
minninnewah Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconsuperwritershelp:

This is quite clever! I like the cheeky personality in this poem. The first two are great just how they are but the last has a few things I'd like to point out.

Firstly, I'm pretty sure "re" is just a typo that's supposed to be three, so you can fix that up really quickly :P

Secondly, I'm not hugely fond of it saying that you wrote three Haikus in a Haiku, because although you did write three Haikus and put them together, the overall product is not a Haiku itself, so they are not "in a Haiku" as it says. This bit just throws the reader off a little because it doesn't quite make sense.

Other than that, I think each line is very well thought out and goes together perfectly! Very nicely done.
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:icondivafica:
divafica Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks! :)
I'm sorry for the late reply, being busy I won't have a chance to properly take advantage of your feedback.. but I will, I really appreciate it :D

By the way, 're' is not a typo, it means about.
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:iconminninnewah:
minninnewah Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well then I just learned a new word, haha! My apologies.
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:iconinsolitus85:
insolitus85 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:giggle:
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:iconsaphirepz:
SaphirePZ Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
very interesting...
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:iconthelusir:
theLUsir Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Good job!

Short and sweet...the very definition of most haikus!
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:icondivafica:
divafica Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you very much! :aww:
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:iconthelusir:
theLUsir Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:thumbsup:
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:iconmiauwmiauw:
MiauwMiauw Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012
haha this is great! :D
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:icondivafica:
divafica Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks! :woohoo:
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