Okay, it's becoming clearer and clearer to me that you are a fantastic poet so I'm just gonna go ahead and watch you

It is incredibly deep and frankly, I enjoyed reading it. Not your thing? I say the opposite!
I want to take this character and just hug her honestly. I want to tell her that he is wrong, that she needs to fight back or walk away.

A very poignant idea your piece has expressed, one that lives off a high dosage of emotional appeal. That was initially the strongest vibe of your piece was how strong the use of the emotional tone was employed to accomplish the overall concept. One thing that this does to a more casual audience, is turn some of their attention span away because it voices a bit like overly-dramatic in that way. But if one is to look closer, there are many interesting influences that this piece can conjure.

I mentioned that your tone was the primary power of the piece, and like a generator, it makes both the emotion of the narrator and the way the audience is meant to receive the piece. There is always the hidden truth, the concept of bias from the narrator's own view, but it would seem by the circumstances that there is little to no falsehood by which the speaker is burdened with.

Imagery is also a key element to this piece's success. The strongest bit of that comes from the evidence of physical harm which is highlighted rather boldly at times. Despite that, there are subtle uses of imagery that do help set the picture and were added in quite nicely. This piece does not require the full range of senses, thus relying on the the eyes and the sensation of touch were used with additional success.

I usually question the use of varying fonts and faces for text, but in this case most of these are presented with good purpose. I do wish to offer a bit advice in one way. There is one line that is alone and in bold print, and it shows the speaker talking to itself as opposed to presenting it to the audience. In this case, enclosing the single in a parenthetical phrase can accomplish an action of inner dialog without using separate formatting. Just a humble suggest though, as is, it does accomplish its purpose.

Transitioning is also a huge part of moving the reader through the piece without leaving them in tight corridors. The meaning to that is to be careful of some choices of punctuation. You did a very valiant effort in making this piece stand out with a wide variety of usage. I do think there are a few choices that may have different stressing than the manner in which I read them - so I offer one more piece of guidance if you wish. One way to to secure the best possible punctuation in poetry is to read through the piece and voice it audibly and dynamically to see how the piece sounds read in that manner. Hearing it aloud like this can make for near perfect choices and let the piece be acted out - as poetry itself is usually very emotional and acted with like zeal of course.

Overall, your presentation was not perfect, yet it provided a very interesting idea. It has great moments that showcase a rather cruel scene, but it is shown in a very nice light. Thank you for sharing this piece with the group, we hope to see more of your work in the future.

- Ben M. Walls